This year has been one for the books, hands down one of the most difficult, heavy, confusing, and chaotic years I’ve personally (and I’m sure all of us) have ever had. From a global pandemic, protests, wildfires, riots all over the world, national and local elections, online learning and remote work, there’s a lot that’s been happening and it’s been difficult to digest. One side of me is trying to read as much news and resources as possible to educate myself then the other side is trying to prioritize self-care by giving my mental health a break from all the noise. Constantly getting pulled between the two sides while trying to remain happy, healthy, safe while making sure your loves ones are too can make a person really question what’s important to them and how much emotion one individual can handle.
For me personally, some of the best moments of my life have also happened in 2020. This includes some unforgettable family time during the beginning months of quarantine, one that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I got my own apartment with my best friends and started a new ‘living on my own’ chapter in my life. My boyfriend and I put our relationship to the test with months and months of long distance only to come out stronger than ever before. And, I was grateful enough to get a new job, one that pushes me forward in my career, is at a company I absolutely adore and is exactly what I want to do in the marketing world.
2020 is the year that forever changed us all. It forced us to slow down, make sacrifices (whether we wanted to or not, and despite our best wishes for things to go back to normal, I think we all slowly realized with each passing month that things might never fully return to the way they were before. And, that’s okay. Today, I want to share some of the biggest lessons I learned from 2020:
1. Self-Care Is A Priority
You need to put yourself first — your mental, physical and emotional health. Carve out time each day to do something that makes you happy. This can look so different from person to person. To me, self-care means to binge watch Netflix, order in some good food, take care of my skin, workout and get that me-time away from others. It can be hard when you’re living with your family or with roommates or your significant other to find that space but it’s super important to take a step back and be like “okay, I need to be by myself right now.”
2. Comparing Yourself Is Self-Destructive
The worst thing you can do to yourself is compare yourself to someone on social media. I’ve personally gone down a spiral of having a major content block when seeing all the amazing content other bloggers put down and feeling like mine isn’t up to par. Pair that with my wanderlust and all the incredible staycations people have been taking that I’m not and you get yourself in a mood. At the end of the day you don’t know the backstories of these people. Some people thrive from wanting to pack their days with content, travel, and productivity so they don’t have to think about what’s going around them. While others would rather prioritize other things like watching tv, spending time with family or reading a good book. Or there’s a mix! So next time, when you see someone on social media doing something that makes you a little “jealous” of their life, don’t be. Everyone’s going through some shit, drop them a message or an emoji, that’ll make their day.
3. Health is the New Wealth
The last two weeks have been one hell of a roller coaster. My mom tested positive for COVID and the whole house had to go into major quarantine mode – everyone in separate rooms, alone. While my mom’s symptoms were mild, each FaceTime felt like it was the last one. Going to bed was the worst feeling ever because I wouldn’t hear from her for 7-8 hours. At one point I even started recording our FaceTime calls, just in case. I’m uncontrollably sobbing in some of them. This was a huge wake up call, just about how the health and safety of my family and loved ones is of utmost importance. Nothing else matters. Social media (including my own) glamorizes the good parts in life, but what happened behind closed doors these last two weeks, no one will understand. You can have all the money, luxuries and materialistic things in the world, but good health is the most precious asset one can have.
4. Happiness & Stress Are Self-Created
Happiness is an attitude. It’s created by you, not something you chase after. This pandemic has taught me that there’s no one to blame for your unhappiness but yourself. I tend to myself in situations where I know the outcome is going to make me unhappy – this can be something as little as voicing my opinion on something I don’t really care about, setting expectations too high for the people around me, and my most infamous one, putting myself in a stressful situation because I work amazing under pressure but hate asking for help but then I also start crying and lash out on the people I love from the stress. Hey, I’m a work in progress. What has helped though is…
- Prioritizing what’s important: Do you really need the one to be planning all these events? no.
- Asking for help: okay, I can’t do this on my own, can you take this part on? Can you clean xyz? Can you handle this person’s gift?
- Having faith in people: what if they don’t do their part? What if they forget? Dude, trust.
- Living in the present: is it the end of the world is things don’t go as planned? Sometimes, yes (kidding).
5. Mindfulness is a Superpower
Mindfulness has been so incredibly important this year with everything happening around us. To be socially conscious and aware of movements, resources and other things happening within so many communities around the world has been truly eye-opening. Being ignorant this year is not an option, I’m not saying you have to post on social media to prove your mindfulness but I do think everyone has a civic responsibility of informing those around them of pressing issues. This can literally just be a conversation with your friend, family member or significant other (ex. What’s happening with the farmers in India? And, how it affects you?). I’m super blessed that my friend group actively sends articles and opinions in our group texts for interesting things they read, where to donate, and how we can get involved. Mindfulness also means being aware of other people’s opinions before you formulate your own and just reading the room before saying something that can be taken the wrong way.
6. Judgement & Shame Are Morally Conflicting
How many times have you judged someone for traveling during covid? How many times have you shamed someone for hanging out with x number of people? I admit it, I have. We get upset when people make covid convenient for them and their lifestyle. We’re quick to judge when we see others doing something that goes against our morals but then…. We’ll sign up for a 10+ person event “if everyone gets tested.” It’s in human nature to subconsciously give someone the SMH face when it doesn’t align with your principles, but the learning lesson here is everyone makes covid convenient for them. And we collectively should start looking at the bigger picture when it comes to our decisions. I agree, it can be morally conflicting but it’s not really fair to others around you if you’re saying one thing and doing the other. We need stop shaming and judging others.
7. Express Gratitude Often
ALL. THE. TIME. My co-host (Annika Sharma) takes the cake for this one. She always let’s me know how valuable I am to her as a co-founder/host to The Woke Desi and it makes me feel so warm inside. You can express gratitude in so many different ways, some things I’ve done this year include:
- Sending Appreciation Texts: Using the love language “Words of Affirmation” to tell the people around you how much they mean to you.
- Small Acts of Kindness: Dropping your bestie some Venmo cash for a big accomplishment so they can treat themselves.
- Gratitude Journal: I recently got a new planner from Panda Planner which has a gratitude section each week where you can list 5 things you’re grateful for.
- Celebrating Big & Small Wins: Hyping your squad up when they share some exciting news in their life… or when they write a blog post (wink wink).
- Sharing Knowledge: If you are a whiz at scrapbooking, money management, or resume writing, share your talents with those in need. Who needs social media or blogging help?
Thank you 2020 for all the lessons you’ve taught me, but I’m so ready for 2021. Next year is about to be incredible.
Amazing writing and a true heartfelt post . ♥️it