Men are hunters by nature, prowling on the pursuit to hunt down what they desire. This reality dates all the way back to the caveman days when men took what they wanted and weren’t afraid to fight for it. This is especially true when it comes to women. I mean in all honesty, if a guy is attracted to a girl, he will do whatever it takes and play all the games necessary to win her over and keep her. It makes you wonder, when a guy isn’t putting his best foot forward with you, does it mean he lacks interest? Do you stay on for the ride to see if he changes his mind? Or do you get the f out asap? How do you know what to do if you don’t know where you stand?
Many times I see women completely kid themselves about a man’s interest because people tend to see only what they want to see. In other words, you probably already know whether or not a guy is into you but you ignore it. Why? You think you can be the one that changes him or the thrill of having something you can’t have clouds your judgement. I don’t blame you, people prefer to want to see things in a positive light. But when the light dies and this perfect picture in your head crumbles, you’ll be left wondering why you didn’t get out earlier.
Before I continue, let me make something completely clear, I’m not talking about FWB’s because those relationships are made clear from the beginning (that’s another whole mess of a situation). I’m specifically talking about guys who lead you on till they “figure out what they want” aka they know what they want, it’s not you. So be cautious of these warning signs:
1. You’re Always Initiating Contact
If you’re always the one reaching out because you’re secretly afraid that you won’t speak again otherwise, he is clearly not that invested in the relationship. I mean how many times have you been the one texting him first after hours of no texts from him? The worst thing you can do to yourself is drive yourself insane by sending him a snap when he doesn’t respond to see if he opened it. You may start to question yourself and think that you’re being needy but the reality is when two people like each other, they actually want to talk to one another. No excuses. You can test this theory out, stop texting this guy, stop snapping him, don’t like his photos on Instagram for just a few weeks and see what happens. If all of a sudden he’s initiating contact with you during this break, whether it’s a “this video made me think of you” or even a snap, you know he finna be out to play games.
2. He’s Always Too Busy
If he likes you, he’ll carve out time for you. I don’t care if he runs a multinational firm and puts in 80 hours a week and volunteers at the children’s hospital on the weekends. No guys is too busy for the women he truly wants. And no, don’t even think that a late night booty call counts as a hang out. If you’re constantly getting that “hey, sorry I’ve been super busy lately” text with no detail of what’s making him busy or an apology about how MIA he’s been — it’s an obvious cop out.
3. The Conversations Lack Substance
At the end of the day, it’s the little things that matter. If he doesn’t have your Taco Bell order memorized by heart or know whose on your Bachelor Fantasy League, I would say byeeee. Really think about the person you’re reading this article for, do you guys have meaningful conversations on a day to day basis? Or are the conversations lacking substance? When he asks you how your day went, does he really want to know or is he just asking you for the sake of making conversation? If a man genuinely was interested in you, he’d want to know the little details about you. Even more so, he’d be obsessed with the little details about you because they make you who you are. If you’re texting a guy and you’re the only one asking questions, it’s clear he’s not interested in getting to know you more so peace the f out.
4. He’s Not Ready For A Relationship
“I’m not ready for a relationship” is code for “I’m not ready for a relationship with you,” this could mean he wants to keep his options open in case something better comes along. Or it could be a timing thing or the most brutal reason is he just doesn’t think you are “The One.” Just like women, men know when they think someone is “The One”, and he might like you but in his mind, he might have decided he doesn’t think it’ll work out in the long run so he doesn’t see the point in investing time in a relationship. Men avoiding the “what are we” conversation is one of the biggest signs that you’re just someone he wants to have fun with and have around—remember, it’s not your place to try and convince him how amazing you are.
5. He’s Never Trying to Impress You
Can we bring chivalry back in 2018? Remember the days when someone was into you in high school, they’d send you one of those valentines grams or slip a cute note in your locker. Nowadays, we just get a “send nudes” text, forreal, grow up. Because in reality, a player will try to seduce you and a good man will try to impress you. You can just tell when a guy talks about his job or what he wants in life if he’s trying to impress you — he wants to be your perfect guy and will say just about anything to be that (warning: be aware of guys with egos). On the flip side, when a guy is just black and white and talks about his life in a very “on the surface” tone, he’s not interested in you getting to know him more and visa versa. These are the guys who end up wanting to be more that FWBs and less than a relationship, THE WORST KIND.
6. You’re Always Wondering
If a man is interested in you, he will make it obvious. Bottom line. So stop making excuses for whichever man forced you to read this article. He’s not too busy, too intimidated, or too shy. You didn’t do anything to make him angry or standoffish. He most definitely is not “going through a tough time and needs some space,” or whatever other excuse you’ve told yourself to justify his behavior. Trust your inner voice that makes you question why you liked him in the first place. Because next time this guy sends you a text to get your attention, you need to ask yourself: do I see a future with someone who can’t even treat me right when we are not dating? And the answer is absolutely not.
If you’ve given it your all and it’s still not enough, it’s time to finally let it go. Know when it’s time to give up and let it go before you waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t deserve you. You can read more about ways to get over the person you almost dated here.
At the end of the day, SO WHAT if he’s not into you? It’s his loss. I say it’s time we change the game, instead of men being the hunters, let’s get our hunting gear together and catch some god damn prey.
